60 DAYS LATER

We've been back for 60 days now. It feels like forever. The girls are doing fantastic. Mila and Estella are 3 months 6 days and Lucy is 2 months 18 days. Estella and Lucy are basically normal size for their age (11-12 lbs) and Mila is a slim 9lbs 7 oz but still in normal range. We have a great nanny helping us and we have managed to stick to a tight schedule. Girls get bath and go to bed around 8pm and sleep til about 2am. They then sleep til about 6am. Not bad, we will keep the night feed a few months longer. People everywhere tell us what "good" babies we have: they really only cry when hungry, need to be changed or uncomfortable--our nanny tells us all three are easier than some of the single babies she has cared for but we wouldn't know the difference (probably for the best). They all started babbling lately and it is so cute. They seem ready to talk and move. We are working on pushing up on arms from belly (I am such a tiger mom!). The nanny is gone on weekends and it is just Mr. M. and I and even then we manage pretty well.

As far as India updates, we are still waiting on the termination of surrogate parental rights which we can then use to complete the second parent adoption. It seems to be taking a long time. Finally, we are really hopeful that the supreme court will help us in June and allow my husband to get his Green Card. It is hard to imagine that the US which puts such priority on families would send a father of three back to England!

And now the best part. The pictures.

Lulu loves to hang with the girls

Estella is our charmer. She looks at you (or anyone for that matter) and her whole face lights up in a huge smile. And then she just starts laughing and laughing.

Lucy is just happy go lucky. Nothing seems to faze her. She also knows how to "smize" for the camera. Tyra Banks would love it!

Mila has inherited my New York attitude. She'll smile at you, but you will work for it. She has also inherited Mr. M.s ability to work head-gear. Here she is serving fabulous-baby realness! She is so hungry for fame-power-food she will destroy anyone who gets in her way--even her sister!

A Gaggle of Pictures

Home Finally

All in all we were in India for 36 days. Not too bad given we had to wait on two separate births. We received Lucy's DNA results on Monday November 5th--it took exactly 7 days from the appointment. The second time at the consulate was pretty easy as they knew us already. The same day Mr. M's mom arrived to help us and she was fantastic. We were already worn down from a week of taking care of three babies. It is the nights that are most tough, but as with anything organization is key. For a treat, we spent the last weekend in one of India's famous palace hotels, it was a splurge but Mrs. M really loved it (it was her first time in India and we were ready for a change after a month in the same hotel). The morning after the DNA results came in we got the passports and headed off to Delhi (We didn't book hotel in Delhi until the last minute, we were worried the DNA results would be late--which they weren't--and ended up spending a fortune on one night in Delhi). The girls were fantastic on the short flight, pretty much slept the whole way. We stayed at the Radisson by the airport for convenience. The next morning all six of us were off to the FRRO (though Mr. M. waited outside). We were advised to arrive around noon rather than enter 930am with the morning rush. All in all, the process wasn't too bad. My advice is be prepared, have all your documents in order, bring the baby/babies as people will be a lot nicer to you and try to go with the flow. India bureaucracy is what it is, and the easiest way to deal with it is be prepared and friendly. We were in and out in less than two hours (including sitting thru a half hour lunch break) which might be a record. That night we flew out on the United flight to Newark. We tried to book bassinet seats but somehow that never materialized so they blocked off some middle seats for us which we used to put babies in the phil and ted's (hands down, the best purchase we made in all our baby preparations). The girls slept the entire flight, only waking briefly to feed and burp. I wish we were on planes all the time. The Delhi airport was pretty drama-free, although lots of "where is the mother" to which I replied "back in NY waiting for her babies" (When people on the street would ask this I would generally say in America we have no mothers only two fathers). The most drama we had was getting the confirmation number for Mrs. M's return trip from NY to London to get into US. The immigration office did ask for proof when I said these were "test tube babies." I showed him the surrogacy contract and he motioned us thru. Back at Newark I marched up on the US citizen line (Mr and Mrs. M have UK passports) and apologized for the inconvenience and asked if we would all come thru and he said no problem. I think even they get the awkwardness of US policy toward immigration for gay couples. We were back at the apartment in less than an hour, my mother was already waiting at the door with tears in her eyes. We had a couple of more sleepless nights but last night the baby nurse moved in for six weeks and I had my first full night sleep in six weeks. Lulu the dog is fantastic around the girls (she just wants to smell and lick them but she keeps her distance). The girls are doing fantastic. We saw the pediatrician and they are healthy and perfect. It feels wonderful to have put the Indian part of all this behind us (though we are still awaiting a document from a judge in India terminating the surrogates rights, necessary for a second-parent adoption in New York State). It was a crazy journey, at times real stressful, but the results have been fantastic beyond our wildest dreams. I'm just so excited to watch these girls grow up and see what comes next. 

Ridiculous levels of cuteness

Waiting

Last night was our first night with Lucy home. It was tough. We were up every 2 hours or so. She is still adjusting to her new environment and like Mila is very vocal when she is unhappy. We will start having a nanny come for a full day so we can catch up with sleep by the pool. Because of holiday here Lucy's passport appointment is delayed til tuesday. The means we will probably get it on Monday November 5 and hopefully by Wed Nov 7 be in Delhi for final paperwork and home by Friday, this is if all goes well. 

Here are some pics of Mila and Estella

Finally PICTURES

Here are some older pics of Mr. M, Mila and Estella as well as the girls swanky ride. And here is baby Lucy.

Welcome Lucy

Yesterday our second surrogate went into labor and at 4pm local time Lucy was born. She is huge compared to Mila and Estella (4.6lbs). She is doing great and should be out of hospital in a few days.

We went to US consulate this week for CRBA, passport and DNA test for twins. As others have said, it is pretty drama free. We were in and out in less than an hour. We didn't even need to use our ready-made Similac! The only snag we almost had was that the Affadavit for Physical Presence needed to be filed for each girl (I assumed they only needed one) but upon good advice I had with me multiple copies of everything so I was easily able to pull another form out of my folder. In terms of what we needed:

For Consular Birth Abroad/Passport

CBRA form
Passport form
Physical Presence form (with two separate lists, one for time in US and one for time out of US)
I used an old Passport as proof and I also brought bank statements but they didn't even look at them
They recommended I file social security forms back in US as it will be quicker
Two passport photos of each girl (with eyes open and ears showing--trying to get that was fun)
US passport of genetic father
Original Surrogacy Agreement and Copy of it
Original Birth Certificates and Copy of them
Letter from Clinic explaining their role
100 USD fee
Consular Appt receipt made online

For DNA test
DNA test kits already there (we used Chromosomal labs in Arizona)
Passport of genetic parent and copy
Original Birth Certificates and Copy
Receipt from Local Doctor for DNA test (our clinic paid the 1200 rupees per test)
Two passport photos for each person being tested including father
email from consulate scheduling DNA test

BRING EXTRAS OF EVERYTHING!!!!!
You will get back all original documents. There is a brief interview with consular officer but it was very relaxed. Mr. M and I didn't mention our relationship but it was clear he knew and was cool about it. Our clinic was really helpful in getting many of these documents for us and putting them together nicely as well as arranging photographs (part of an extra fee).


We should get results of DNA test by midweek and Emergency Passports soon after. We are scheduled to go back to consulate with Lucy on thursday (you can schedule visit when babies are born but be careful if they are in NICU. I had to reschedule DNA test at last minute cause Estella was not released and they warned me I could only do this once). I'm hoping we can have Lucy's passport by end of October and head home in first days of November. We are a bit nervous about overnight with three without any help (Mr. Ms mother should be here by next weekend) but so far this trial by fire method has worked well. Again, I promise pictures soon, but it might have to wait for a US server.

Two Weeks Old

Tomorrow the girls will be two weeks. We moved from self-service apartment to hotel because it seems to be easier. Both girls are home and Mr. M and I are adjusting to nappies and bottles pretty well. We kind of have a system, M. is the main comforter/changer and I am in a supporting role, making/cleaning bottles and getting him the supplies he needs. I bought a bottle sterilizer and stroller and both have been lifesavers. Mila has a big mouth while Estella is more understated but they both have their own unique personalities. The hotel has been able to get us a nanny (15usd a day!) though we haven't used her yet. On tuesday we have passport appt and thursday DNA tests. After that we have a few weeks to chill out by pool anjd bond with twins. It's a pretty nice life so far...

1 Week Old

The girls are one week old today and doing great. Mr. M arrived on Saturday and we spent the whole day yesterday training to care for the girls. I admit was was so scared to handle them when I first got here. They are so tiny. The doctors kept encouraging me to start feeding them and changing them but I noticed a strange resistance with the nurses. It took me a day or two to realize they were waiting for mother to show up and that because I was a male they weren't sure I could do it. I finally decided they are my kids and I will just do it so I did. I had to gently push some of the nurses aside when the girls needed a feeding or burping but by Friday my inner grizzly mama came out. By yesterday I felt much more comfortable even though half of India was staring at me through the NICU windows. Look, they seemed to say, a man caring for a newborn! In general everyone at the NICU has been lovely and I have had fun explaining to some of the nurses that in America you can have two daddies or mommies. They are surprised but take it in stride. Deep down I suspect some of them think mother is still going to show up.

Today Mila is coming home. She has put on weight and is eating like a champ. Stella lost a bit of weight yesterday so we are waiting to see if she is ready to come home today or not. In general aside from mild jaundice the girls have been healthy. Mila has a really strong personality. She is a fast drinker (like her dad Mr. M.) and she lets you know what's up. Estella is more mellow and takes a while to finish the bottle, but is very cuddly. They both threw up a couple of times after feeding, so one nurse put them to sleep on their front for an hour while we watched them and they looked like a pair of frogs (I know, a big no no in the USA).

We decided to move from hotel to apartment with nanny as we thing that will be easier. We got the birth certificates in 48 hours and have appointments for DNA test and Consular Record of Birth Abroad/Passport on Thursday. We are actually not going to request emergency passports because we will be here for a while. We are trying to focus on our wonderful new family and enjoy this special time we have together rather than getting worked up about getting out of here.

I can't seem to load pictures from this connection but I will find a way and get them up soon

Mila and Estella

Just got to India at 4am this morning and have yet to sleep. I got to spend a bit of time with the girls. They are doing great, eating on their own and so far no complications. They are small so once they start gaining weight if all goes well they should be released from NICU (maybe four-five days). I'm in hotel til next week when babies come home and then we will do service apartment with nanny. The hospital is great. I got to massage babies but not feed them yet. Tomorrow the nurses will start teaching how to feed and burp. They are amazing. Here are some pics.

                                                                Mila

       
                                                              Estella

     
                                                                 Roomies

I need to sleep but more pics and news to come...