But I only have two hands???

I've definitely been filled with excitement and panic the past week as it looks like we are having two. I've been reading blogs for nearly a year and everyone seems very calm about twins and triplets. So I have decided to write a list of all the things that seem scary about twins in no particular order:

1. How can one pick up two crying babies at the same time? Do you take turns or just do one at a time?
2. Does one get very regimented about a schedule? What if they are not on same schedule. If they feed every three hours and it takes about an hour to feed, clean up and get them back to bed, we are looking at 16 hours a day of baby care time!
3. Daycare/Childcare/Schooling. So that would now cost double?
4. How does one make sure to nourish individual relationships with each child so they feel special and unique as well as part of a family?
5. How does one feed two crying babies at the same time?
6. How does one change two poopy diapers at the same time?
7. How will I stop myself from dressing them in adorable matching outfits?
8. Seems like a lot of formula, diapers, wipes. Are their bulk discounts?
9. Mr. M doesn't really like to get up in the middle of the night. He has a more stressful job than me. Does that mean I have to do the night shift?
10. Must their names rhyme?
11. We just moved into our new one bedroom. Does that mean we need to move again? in NYC a two bed is pricey! What if new apt doesn't have washer/dryer?
12. Is there any way we can save money by breastfeeding? Can I induce lactation in myself?
13. Will all the grandmas/grandpas/uncles/aunts/cousins/friends be less willing to babysit two?
14. Will we all get lots of attention from strangers on the street? Will we be stopped at airports as people wonder why two men are leaving town with two little babies?

all right, I better stop, or I'm really going to go overboard!!!!

The truth is whatever the anxieties and fears, M and I are so happy to have a family of our own. As gays, both of us grew up certain that we would never have children. We both had our "hedonistic" 20s and I think most people around us thought we were too much about ourselves to have children. I think we believed that too. We now see that we were so wrong and having our own family seems so right. I guess I need to remember that most of parenting is just about keeping your children alive until they go off to college.

Update....oh boy (or girl)

I got an email about 4am last saturday. We got the news. The first surrogate came back with a Beta Level of 286.6. Second surrogate came back with Beta of 197.2. All I could say was "Oh boy" (until M woke up looked at the email and started saying Oh God over and over again-he must have found religion in that moment). Since then surromom1s Beta has gone up to 981.3 and surromom2s to 304.1.

Looks like we are definitely pregnant and if all goes well we will have twins (of sorts?). After getting over the shock we started to get excited (I love the idea of not having to go back for another child right away) and also nervous (two babies at the same time--neither have us have taken care of one!). It will be a steep learning curve but we can't wait. I feel weird blogging about this---in our families we don't talk about pregnancy until end of first trimester, but the whole point of this is to make the process transparent and share our story with others going thru it. By next week we should have some pictures and hopefully some confirmed heartbeats!

Wow. Will our twins be this fabulous? Of course!